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I took this photograph when still reeling from yesterday's near-migraine experience, plus some other personal and emotional turbulence that's been presenting itself for me to deal with and that, I must say, I have just so not been wanting to deal with. As a result I was feeling utterly other -- outside my own body, nearly. Once removed from everything and everyone. I went to the gym for a good long punishing workout just wanting to feel something that wasn't stress, dull rage or the ghostly pain of my recent brush with ye olde skull icepick. But the side effect of suppressing emotions is that you push down everything else too, by necessity (also, I suspect, another side effect is that you get migraines, hello!) and I don't want to live with my emotional rheostat permanently set to "dim".

So I am thinking a lot about new roads right now. Roads I don't want to take but don't see any other way to walk if I'm going to remain honest to my own sense of self and slowly emerging (but I hope stubborn) determination that, hey, the primary people in my life need to treat me with respect and consideration. Because I don't have to keep walking this particular way: there are all kinds of new trails beckoning, intriguing glimpses of possible paths not yet taken.

This one out of the back of the Harvest Fare grocery store parking lot, for instance. I can't begin to see where it leads, and it's kind of grubby -- there's a fair amount of trash littering the hill, and deep rutted wash-outs that would make this one bumpy route to follow. But someone put big rocks into the worst ruts, to create a little impromptu traction, and I could hear music, live music, playing not far away behind the trees...