37

This photo was a total accident, but I've really found myself drawn to it.  I was zeroing in on an exposure -- my biggest takeaway from the Maine workshop was that one reason I hated digital images I'd made was that I'd been letting the camera call the shots on the exposure, so now I do everything manually.  Which means, sometimes, I miss wildly on my first few frames and they're crazy dark or way blown out.  I took successfully exposed images after this one, but this is the one I keep going back to.  Sometimes our accidents turn out better than our intended efforts....

36

Thanks, everyone, for the well-wishing and supportive messages I got wishing me luck on this photo assignment.  It was a feature story for the Baltimore CityPaper, about a once-beloved local beer -- National Premium -- that disappeared 15 years ago and is now being resurrected by a local businessman.  My job was to meet the businessman at the brewery and get a variety of shots to illustrate this.  Once upon a time I would have been apprehensive about taking this job because I have struggled so mightily to make pictures I like, using digital cameras.  For the past few years I've ended up hating the results of  pretty much every assignment I've shot. 

I left feeling pretty good about this one, though.  In Maine I'd made some peace with digital, and felt more like this would work, that I would make some photos I actually like.  It was a good experience -- the guy was friendly and, although he would pretty much just woodenly stand there waiting for me to take his picture, he would stand anywhere I asked.  After Andrea's class this time around I felt much more comfortable being very directive -- stand here, hold your head this way.  So instead of just photographing whatever happened to happen, I made some things happen, and that felt good.

So what might be funny about that experience is that the picture I like best is this one, a grab shot at the very end when he was walking out.  Which is exactly how I've always worked.  

35

Late, getting ready for bed.  For some reason Jack became enamored of these foam earplugs.  The photo I saw was him sitting there just sort of deadpan, earplug hanging out of each ear.  But, like so many compelling visuals that fail in the attempt to translate to a photograph, it just didn't happen.

I'm crazed with work and trying to get ready for a somewhat extended (10 day) and arduous (to a very remote part of Wyoming -- no transportation in or out other than horses, and our own legs) trip that I depart for on Friday.  I'm looking forward to the trip in the most part because it will be set-aside time.  When I'm not worrying about work or what a mess the house is or all those daily distractions -- I can just take time to make photos.  Like my recent Maine workshop experience, only with less pressure (and, sadly, less engagement with other creative and articulate photographers).  In the past week or so I have really felt photography receding back to some neglected back corner of my life, and I want to fight to keep it front and center.  Because doing that equates to keeping something of my soul front and center, too.  To hell with the dishes. 

Wish me luck today.  Going on my first paid photo assignment since Maine. 

34

Family game night!  I lost big at Trouble.  Could not pop a 6 to get out of home base to save my life!

(Completely photographically unrelated side rant: this is a vintage Trouble game, made in the USA in the 1970s, with righteous pop-o-matic action.  You can still buy Trouble new in stores, but it's totally flimsy.  You have to hold down the floppy cardboard surface with one hand to do a proper pop, which often skitters the lightweight playing pieces out of their holes.   Highly unsatisfying.  Pictured, however, is the Trouble of *my* childhood: sturdy, stable and satisfying.  Accept no substitutes!)

33

32

31

This photograph isn't much in terms of composition or art, but it sure was fun to watch Coley style his hair with the hand dryer in our local library's family restroom (where big six year old guys who might hang out long-term, playing with the hand dryer can be accompanied by their moms, who can gently move things along after a little while....)

30

 

Extremely un-compelling photo taken for a blog entry I'm writing -- I bartered blog writing for a share in a local organic CSA.  Which is based on this farm.  With this sign.  When I have taught photojournalism courses in the past I've always told my students that a picture of a sign is really not a picture at all and should only be resorted to when no other option exists.  Here I am, ignoring my own fine advice.  Do as I say, not as I do.

29

28

27

A hard rain earlier in the week had knocked this bird's nest from a maple tree in front of our cabin.  I persuaded Cole to hold it, for about a billionth of a second, before he ran off to swing from the long grapevine that was the give-your-mom-a-heart-attack highlight of the weekend's activities: jump off a rock, careen out over the road, swing back barely missing the tree, my god how strong can that vine be anyway.  Exactly the kind of activity that would have consumed us, when we were kids, and so I gritted my teeth, stifled the mama bear urge to protect my cubs at all costs, even from fun...and let 'em swing.  

Um, no, I never photographed the swinging.

26 (by the skin of my teeth)

A very long day.  Awakened in Virginia, drove two hours to Maryland to pick up boys and pack up stuff and then drive to West Virginia.  We had a long weekend at Cacapon State Park with my family -- cousin time, for the kids.  The way it was for me when I was a kid at this very same park.

Not to be confused with Codorus, though confusion would be certainly understandable if you're not me, or a member of my family.  My cousin Val and I spent a great deal of time this weekend comparing and contrasting different memories of the various state parks that served as our family's low-budget getaways throughout my childhood.  Val and I have similar fetishization of state parks as a result -- he can relate the entire history of the WVa state park system, for example.  And I'm equally a geek, listening in open-mouthed fascination.

Anyway, all the driving and packing and unpacking was exhausting, and by the time we got the cabin set up and air mattresses inflated and bedding found and kids actually in the beds, a photo had most certainly not happened.  To make matters worse, I had been looking forward to making photographs during this weekend -- taking time to be deliberate, to work through situations to the image I actually want rather than settling for what happens -- but in all that packing, my camera bag did not make it into the van.  Arggghhh.  So it was a weekend of iPhoneography, and even so I still almost forgot to make Friday's photo.  It was nearly midnight and I was about to collapse into my own bed when I remembered.  I crept over to turn out the lamp where Val's daughter Nancy was sweetly sprawled,  arm outflung where sleep had finally found her after all the excitement of arrival.  And there was my picture.  The weekend gets better, picture-wise.  I promise.

25

Dang.  I was *this* close to being able to yell "Yahtzee!".

24 - TK

Trying to keep up with the posting promptly resolution, only I'm in one place and the camera card where the photos from day 24 reside is in another.  So rather than pile up days waiting for us all to be in the same state, I'm just putting a promissory note here and will fill in the blank as soon as I'm able.

23.5

Missed making a photograph on Sunday.  I was intentionally waiting until I picked the boys up from their dad that evening, and then in the rush and bustle of bringing them home after four days apart and all of us away from home -- dang, no milk in the house, mama have you seen my 3DS charger, where is that Lego robot I built last week I loved that Lego robot what do you mean you took it apart when you put the toys away -- I just forgot.  I was feeling pretty disgusted with myself yesterday when I realized that I had, indeed, simply not done a photo.

So now I'm determined to post each day whenever humanly possible.  In my chaotic life, having a daily discipline of photo making and photo posting will ensure the photos happen. 

Back to the Gunpowder River on a hot day.  I really like this image.

23

I did not make a single photograph today. 

22

So we had dinner guests Saturday evening, and I endeavored to make a wineberry-peach pie.  I was blind-baking the bottom crust, to keep it from getting soggy, and while it was in the oven I got distracted by another part of dinner I was also cooking, and next thing you know...flaming pie crust!  I smelled something burning, smote myself upon the forehead for forgetting the pie in the oven, opened the oven and -- flames!  So I actually stuck the pie back in the oven so it would keep burning and went to get the camera.

I ditched the piecrust and made another, but this pie did not want to be made.  The second time around the pie did not burn, thank heaven, but nor did it bake.  In the oven for nearly two hours, it stubbornly refused to cook through.  I was mystified, and wondering if the oven was malfunctioning.  I finally took it out and served it anyway, calling it pie soup -- the top at least was done, even over-done, but the fruit inside was barely warm, my lovely wild raspberries swimming in all their juices that had never thickened.   Our guests graciously declared it delicious, whatever it was, though I noticed none asked for seconds.  I showed them the photo of the flaming piecrust by way of explanation -- I've never had a pie fail this epically before -- and Bill's friend Jim said, "That is the mark of a true photographer, that you reached for the camera instead of the fire extinguisher!"

It wasn't until the next day that I realized the oven had been set on 'broil' instead of 'bake' -- Bill's stove has a separate dial dictating these things.  Dang.  What a waste of pie.  But in its stead I now have a story.

21

Took Bill's 12 year old daughter, Emma, to the Corcoran Museum to see a show of horse portraits by Charlotte Dumas.  Like practically every 12 year old girl everywhere, Emma is horse-crazy.  She did not, however, seem noticeably impressed by the horse photos.  Nor by the two rooms of beach and ocean photos drawn from the museum's collection, which I greatly enjoyed.  There was a Robert Frank image I don't recall ever before seeing, a lovely photograph of his wife and children on a beach in the dark, with sparklers.  It makes me happy to summon that photo in my memory, such a simple but lovely image. 

I also wanted to at least peek at the exhibit of Diebenkorn paintings currently on show at the Corcoran, but Em had had Enough Art.  She was hungry, maybe we could find a hotdog cart out on the street, or some ice cream.  Sigh.  You can lead a kid to art but you can't make them swoon over it.  On the way out Emma stopped to admire and pet the bronze lion faces set in the museum's massive front doors.  Her favorite part of our visit to the art museum was, I think, departing from the art museum.

20

19

We were hiking around the lake at Codorus last week, back during our two weeks of happy camper-hood, and Coley found this black walnut husk.  I'd noticed it in the path, both coming and going -- struck by its unusually emphatic heart shape.  On our way back to camp, hurrying a little because the sun had already set and we had quite a way to go back to the trailhead, Cole saw it too as we hiked past.  Only he scurried back to scoop it up in his little monkey paw, scurried again to where I was waiting, ran up to me and pressed it into my hand.  "A present for you, Mama," he said, and then ran ahead to catch up with his cousins. 

One of my most treasured possessions, now.  I asked him to hold it so I could take a photo, right before we got in the car to drive the boys over to their dad's house for a four day visit.  It never gets easier, leaving them. 

18

I am so, so lucky, to have this life and all that's in it. 

17

Made this un-thrilling photo to go with my most recent food column in the Baltimore Citypaper.  More of an illustration than a genuine photograph, but if you read the piece you'll see that it gets the point across.  I like the colors, anyway.  A happy coincidence, that, since I certainly wasn't thinking about color coordination while writing the column.

16

15

Sally Mann's kids let her photograph them with apparent willingness.  Mine, not so much...to get them to pose there is begging and pleading, leading frequently outright bribery.  And once I win consent  I better be quick, because I'm getting 3 shots at most.

14

Again with the hands and the water.  I picked up the boys at 5 pm yesterday and we headed for our favorite spot along the Gunpowder river for a picnic dinner.  The guys didn't even wait to change into their swimsuits, charged straight into the water in their shorts.  It was really that hot.  I had waited all day to make pictures because I knew that we would be going to the river, but once we were finally there it sort of slammed into me how crazy tired I am.  I had brought my other cameras but realized I only had maybe iPhone photography level of energy remaining.  (Coming back from camping, all that loading and unloading and sorting and putting away, it's like a small version of moving house.  And only slightly less exhausting).  So after we'd been there a good long while I asked Cole to stand in the water and move his hands different ways, slowly, and he sort of did.  He had trouble, always does, with the slowly part, but he was amazingly cooperative for a little guy with attentional and oppositional issues. 

None of the photos really worked.  Instead of getting frustrated that I couldn't get where I wanted the image to be, I just let it go.  That's two days in a row of giving up on the photography and jumping in the water instead.  Maybe I need a waterproof camera housing so as to combine the two....

13

I am not happy with any of the images I made yesterday -- this one came the closest to being interesting.  I love the way Nancy's fingers are so delicately splayed amid the water drops.  I tried to get her to work with me, to sit still and put her hands in the water so I could get close without risking electronic meltdown due to splashback (I've already fried a previous iPhone via water damage) but all she really wanted to do was swim, and I couldn't blame her.  So I tucked the phone safely away and jumped in the lake too.  Our last camp day.  It was a great couple of weeks.  Now back to real life.

12

Nothing says "Happy 4th of July!" like star-spangled sunglasses and a blue popsicle tongue...

11

Little children are cute and small only to adults.  To one another they are not cute.  They are life-sized. 

10

The winner of tonight's Scary Faces Around the Campfire Contest.

9

At first I didn't like the total yellow shift in this image, but the more I look the more I like.  We have some old family Instamatic shots that have done exactly this yellow shift over the 35 or so years since they were taken.  And some of those old snapshots are from Codorus, where this photo also occurred.  So, for me anyway, there's this intriguing time shift element -- like I could slip a print of this into one of the venerable family albums, and it would fit right in.

Day 8

Maybe not the most sophisticated photo, but a happy one.  Thanks for the lovely bracelet, Amy!

Day 7

Day 6

Day 5

Day 4

Clover crowns in the meadow at sunset.  I used to make these when I was a young girl and am delighted to pass on the skill of weaving clover stems together into circlets and necklaces to a new generation.

Day Three

Day Two

So this is basically how the past week went: I came back from Maine, threw random things that seemed likely to be useful into my minivan, and not even 12 hours later left to go camping for a fortnight with my family.  We are at Codorus State Park in Pennsylvania, a place I've been going to every summer since I was even younger than Emma, the girl in this photo.  (I had some Codorus photos in the earlier images from my previous 365 attempt, along with some writing about the place this place holds in my life and my psyche).

I am back in my house for one day while my boys visit their dad; I pick them up tomorrow and we go back to camp for five more days.  I've been looking forward to posting the photos I've been doing each day while we've been camping -- stepping out of my regular life, first to go to Maine and then Codorus, makes it easy to make photos. And I've made some I like, already -- a bit of a switch for me, since I've been really struggling with digital photography for a long time and only figured out, just this past week in Maine, how to go about starting to make digital pictures that I don't hate.

I think it gets harder when the daily grind -- work, parenting, love, the full catastrophe -- resumes, harder to deliberately make a little room in the middle of all that to make pictures and write about them.  Not when so much dire else needs doing.  However, I'm sure that one of the places my socks fell down on the prior project was in not posting every day -- I was religious about shooting every day but not so much with the posting; often, I'd do a week's worth at one time.  This time around I intend to post every day when I'm able.  But sometimes I'm not able, like those days when I'll be swimming and biking and lazing around this scrubby but endearing state park with my kids and their cousins and our extended family.  Enjoying summer and each other.

So, um, yeah, this one wasn't shot on my iPhone.  A first.

Part Two, Day One: Begin Again

Just home from a week at the Maine Photo Workshops. Pardon me, the Maine Media Workshops. (The last time I was there, exactly a decade ago, they were still the Photo Workshops and we still used film. How time tumbles past).

Much more as soon as I am able, about what happened to my project. The eight month-plus lacuna. But right now, here is the first photo in my second effort at undertaking a 365.